Wins Jokes / Recent Jokes

It is not Lettermans - but hey I think I did a good job?
From the Home Office in Larchmont, NY the Top Ten Things Overheard in the Presidential Box During the College Basketball Finals:
"Oh, so you are saying that I should be rooting for the team in white?"
"Can we get some burgers and fries up here?"
"Sir, there are not enough people in this booth to do a wave"
"Actually, I have NO chance of re-election no matter who wins the game."
"I can't believe the shorts that these players are wearing; they should have stylish and practical shorts, like the ones that I jog in."
"I hope this doesn't go into overtime - I have Gennifer back in the White House - after all Hillary is away for a few days."
"IT just dawned on my, if Arkansas wins I have to bring all these hicks to the white house - GO DUKE!!!"
"No Sir I don't think Arkansas needs you to play defense for more...

>*India wins Cricket match; 120 people die of shock
>
>*Furore over Minister spending 2 crores for fixing broken leg of a
> Logarithmic Table
>
>*Flood in Bihar; 2 die of thirst
>
>*Ray of hope for India as Ravi Shastri retires
>
>*No bombings in Kashmir today
>
>*Laloo to be made National Animal
>
>*Suit filed holding Rao responsible for Battle of Panipat, 1526
>
>*MF Hussian paints Mulayam Singh Yadav nude
>
>*Doctorate conferred on Jayalalitha for completing 2 months in Jail
>
>*Population Statistics: 42% - Literate, 58% - Politicians
>
>*Ramar Pillai produces Pottasium Permanganate from Rice, Water, a
>stick and some Pottasium Permanganate
>
>*Poverty to be eradicated in India using Virtual Reality Software
>
>*Kalyan Singh pulls Mayawati's leg in UP Assembly - Literally
>
>*Death penalty upheld for Suicide victim
>
>*India wins Gold more...

A drunk walks into a bar and sits down. In front of each stool he sees three darts. He calls the bartender over and says, "Hey! What are these darts here for?"
The bartender says, "Well, you take the darts and throw them at the dartboard behind the bar here, and anybody that gets three bull's-eyes in a row wins a prize."
"Oh," says the drunk, stifling a burp, "all right." He picks up a dart and, weaving from side to side, hurls it, clutching the bar at the last moment just in time to prevent himself from falling off the stool. Amazingly the dart lands firmly in the center of the bull's-eye.
He picks up the second dart, and with one hand on the bar steadying himself as best he can, he throws it. With his follow-through he collapses onto the bar, his head hitting the wood with a resounding thump. Incredibly, though, the dart lodges itself right next to the other one. Another perfect bull's-eye.
The drunk then pushes himself up off more...