Wish Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Muslim, a Croat, and a Serb were sitting near a river bank. Suddenly a figure emerged from the water and said,' Each one of you make a wish and it will be granted.'
The Serb spoke first:' I wish all the Croats would die!'
The Croat retaliated,' I wish all the Serbs would die!'
It was now the turn of the Muslim,' All I want is a cup of tea,' he said.' My two fondest wishes have just been fulfilled!'
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him."
The woman replied, " That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she became the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That more...
A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other "looks." Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The General manager is setting there thinking: "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I'm glad the guy more...
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the more...
A man was walking down the beach when he found a bottle. He picks up the bottle, and a genie comes out. The genie says that he will grant him one wish.' Well, I'd like to go to Hawaii. But, I'm afraid of flying and I don't like the idea of going in a boat. So, I wish there was a bridge from here to Hawaii.' says the man.' That's impossible!' says the genie.' You'll have to make another wish.'' Ok, I want to know how to be a successful computer programmer.' says the man.' How many lanes do you want on that bridge?' asks the genie.
This guy is walking on the beach somewhere in California. He sees a lamp, rubs it, and a Genie comes out. The genie is so happy that he decides to grant one wish to the lucky guy.
The guy thinks about it and says, "I'd like you to build a highway to Hawaii because I am afraid to fly. The genie responds that this can't be done because it would be technologically impossible considering the depth of the ocean and the distance to Hawaii. So he asks the guy to wish for something else.
The guy thinks about it and, very enthusiastically, wishes he would understand women.
The genie then said, "Do you want your highway to have 2 or 4 lanes?"