Wishing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

15 actual announcements taken from church bulletins:1. Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.2. Thursday night- potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery upstairs.5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.7. Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.9. Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.10. This being Easter Sunday, more...

Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4: 00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5: 00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little more...

These are actual announcements from church...
1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
2. Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.
3. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed", accompanied by the pastor.
4. Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Smith to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
6. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come more...

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before."You`ll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant."No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!"

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Some churches are more fun than others.
Believe it or not, these actually appeared in various church bulletins:
1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and
north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both
ends.
2. Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All
ladies giving milk, come early.
3. Wednesday the ladies liturgy society will meet. Mr.
Johnson will sing, "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by
the pastor.
4. Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the little
mothers club. All ladies wishing to be little mothers
please meet with the pastor in his study.
5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to
come forward and lay an egg at the alter.
6. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water".
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
congregation will join in.
7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to more...