Wizard Jokes / Recent Jokes
A wizard joke
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
Out for the count!
A wizard joke
What kinds of wizards have their eyes closest together?
The smallest ones!
A wizard joke
Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath!
A wizard joke
What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back again!
A witch joke
Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
That’s the time to go to sweep!
A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard met the witch?
It was love at first fright!
A witch joke
When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
When your a mouse!
A wizard joke
How do you keep a wizard in suspense?
I’ll tell you tomorrow…!
The Rabbi rose with a red face..."Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K.This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community."No one moved.The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!"Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke."Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan... I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"
A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws!
A witch joke
What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick?
A catastrophe!
A witch joke
Why are black cats such good singers?
They’re very mewsical!
A wizard joke
Who did the wizard marry?
His ghoul-friend!
A wizard joke
Why did the wizard where red, white and blue braces?
To keep his trousers up!
A witch joke
Why is a witches face like a million dollars?
It’s all green and wrinkly!
A witch joke
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the “w”!
A witch joke
What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A chicken sandwitch!
A witch joke
Why did the witches go on strike?
They wanted sweeping reforms!
A witch joke
When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does?
Get wet!
A witch joke
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
“I’d put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it”!
A wizard joke
What do you call a warlock who tries to stop fights?
A peacelock!
A wizard joke
What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus?
All of them, busses don’t jump!
A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard drank a bottle of lemonade?
He burped 7-Up!
Four blondes are shipwrecked on an island. They meet a wizard who is very bored and gives them each one wish. The first one is too stupid to listen to the wizard and she swims away and drowns. The second one says "I wish I was 10 times as smart as I am now," and she makes a wooden raft and floats away. The third one says "I wish I was 100 times smarter than I am now," and she builds a rowboat and rows to the mainland. The last one says "I wish I was a 100,000,000,000,000 times smarter than those three combined," and she turns into a man and walks acrosss the bridge.
A wizard joke
What happened to the stupid wizard who put in his false teeth back to front?
He ate himself!
A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard lying in the gutter?
Dwayne!
A witch joke
Why do witches have stiff joints?
They get broomatism!
A wizard joke
What happened to the wizard who brushed his teeth with gunpowder?
He kept shooting his mouth off!
A witch joke
What’s evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?
A witch stuck in a lift!
A witch joke
Why didn’t the witch sing at the concert?
Because she had a frog in her throat!
A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A cold spell!