Womans Jokes

Superman and Spiderman
Superman and Spiderman are standing at a bar, Superman is looking a
bit down, - What's the matter? asks Spiderman. - Well to tell you the
truth, I haven't had "IT" for months and it's really getting to me, comes
the reply. - It's funny you should say that, on the way here I was
swinging past Wonder Womans flat and she was lying on her bed in the
altogether with her legs akimbo says Spiderman with a grin... - What do
you mean? asks Superman - Well with your powers you could dive in, do
the business and be out before she knows what hit her Spiderman
replies. - OK I'll do it........ Off he goes to Wonder Womans flat and
sure enough she's still lying on her bed as if waiting for something!! He
shoots through the window, does the job and flys back to the bar. -
Bloody hell says Wonder Woman, what was that? - I don't know - but
my arse is in pieces replied the Invisible Man

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the womans face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldnt graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the womans new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of more...

Q. What does a womans asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A. He is usually home with the kids!

Why is the space between a womans breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

A guy is on an airplane and he was in first class. He needed to use the restroom. In first class they have a men and a womans bathroom but the mens bathroom was occupied so he asked the flight attendent to use the womans bathroom so she let him but she said whatever you do don't press any buttons but he just ignored her and when he went in he saw three buttons a WC button a WD button and an ATR button.First he pressed the WC button and it blew air up his butt. Then he pressed the WC button and it blew water up his butt.After that he pressed the ATR button and found himself in the hospital and when he woke up the nurse was in the room and he asked her why he was in the hospital and she didnt know so she asked him to remember what he did last and he said I remember pressing an ATR button and she said oh well thats an automatic tampon remover
OUCH!!!