Womb Jokes

Last year authorities in Montana discovered that a hermit had been living in an old Forest Service cabin, and they were concerned about his well being. They decided to send up a team of experts from different fields to analyze his living arrangements, and to make sure that he was okay.First they decided on a Psychologist, to make sure that the man was mentally handling his isolation. Next, they decided on an Engineer, to make sure that the cabin is still structurally sound and safe. Finally, they decided on a Theological professor from the university, to make sure that the man's spiritual needs were being fulfilled.The team made it's way up the treacherous terrain in three days, but they were truly exhausted. Finally, on the evening of the third day, they spotted the cabin. From the outside, it appeared all was well.The area around the cabin was clean, the ground almost appearing as though it had been swept often. There was smoke coming from the stove pipe chimney, and the door was more...

MASSIVE TUMOUR

In October 1991, surgeons at Stanford University Hospital removed an ovarian tumour weighing over 21 stone from a woman. It was the largest cyst ever detached from a human being. After the operation, the woman weighed 5 stone LESS than the tumour.



BABY CHICKEN

A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room complaining of abdominal pains. During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby.



INNER SKELETON

A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a foetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from more...

Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They getto "W", and the teacher figures Little Johnny can't think up anythingdirty with a "W" so she calls on him." Womb!", Little Johnny says." That's a good word, Johnny", teacher says. "Is that as in where babiescome from?" she asks." No", says Johnny, "That's the sound elephants make when they'rescrewing... you know, "Womb! Womb! Womb!"

Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next to them sat a young girl.
The first man said, “I think it’s WOOMB. ” The second replied, “No, it must be WOOOOMBH. ” The third said, “You both have it wrong - it’s WOOM. ” The fourth stated, “No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB. ”
At this, the young lady could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the farmers and said, “Look, you hayseeds, it’s WOMB. That’s it, that’s all there is to it. ” Then she left.
Eventually, one of the farmers broke the silence by saying, “Well, I don’t know. A slip of a girl like that, I don’t see how she could know. I’ll bet she’s never even heard an elephant fart! ”

Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They getto "W", and the teacher figures Little Johnny can't think up anythingdirty with a "W" so she calls on him."Womb!", Little Johnny says."That's a good word, Johnny", teacher says. "Is that as in where babiescome from?" she asks."No", says Johnny, "That's the sound elephants make when they'rescrewing... you know, "Womb! Womb! Womb!"