Wooden Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you call Shahan, a Sri Lankan with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick!!
What do u call Shahan, a Sri Lankan with 2 wooden legs?
A waste of wood!!
How Long did it take the mother of the Sri Lankan to shit....
in the case of the person already mentioned??
9 months!!
Why don't they teach sex education... and driving in Sri Lanka on the same day??
They don't want to wear out the camel.
Shahen.....
WE LOVE YA MAN!

Father O'Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?"
The man responds "My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York City Taxi driver for 14 years"
"Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden sceptre, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord."
St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?"
He responds, "I'm Father O'Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord."
"Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter."
"Wait a minute," says O'Flannagan, "You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden sceptre, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?"
"Well," St. Peter more...

Yo Mama is so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night.He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. "Would you like to dance with me?"he asked.She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!"

The traveling salesman explained to the farmer that he, the salesman, had a full day ahead of himself and that he had a lengthy sales pitch to deliver, but that he was consumed with curiosity about the pig, with a wooden leg, walking around the yard.
"Why does that pig have a wooden leg?", he asked.
"Well", the farmer drawled, "One day I was plowin' up the south forty when that thar tractor hit a stump, reared up on me, rolled over and stuck me underneath. I yelled and I hollered, but nobody heered me -' cept for that pig! He jumped over the fence, ran' cross the field, put his shoulder to the tractor, and lifted it jist enough for me to wiggle free. If it warn't fer that pig, I reckon I'd be a dead man today!
"Oh, so the pig hurt his leg when he lifted the tractor", the salesman deducted.
"Nope.", said the farmer. "One night our house was afire and we didn't know it. But that pig! That pig jumped over the fence, more...

A man and his three friends are driving around one day when they happen to crash into the side of a bridge and completely wreck their car. While his three friends remained intact, the man had lost an eye and had to be rushed to the hospital. Once he arrived there, he discovered to his horror that they were out of glass replacement eyes, so they would have to give him a wooden eye.

Because he was so ashamed of becoming a freak with a wooden eye, the man refused to leave the hospital until they discharged him a week later, and then for several weeks after he stayed in his house with no contact to the outside world. His friends, feeling incredibly guilty for their lack of injury, decided to take him out to a club to try and cheer him up.

Though he was reluctant, he accepted. Once they were at the club, his three friends began dancing with girls, while he felt too shy about his eye to ask anyone. As the night wore on, he became more self-assured, and started asking more...

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

"And the boar tore up his leg?"

"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and' fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved' em all!"

"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came more...