Woods Jokes / Recent Jokes
There were three boys named Matt, Loco, and Shaun. One day they all join the Cub Scouts.
They are going hiking in the woods today in class, and when they got there they discovered a cave in the woods.
Shaun and Loco dared Matt to go in, so he goes in trying to look brave and he comes out saying “ooooh, god damn that felt good”
They asked him what happend, Matt said “A lady put a donut on my dick and ate it off.
Then Matt and Shaun dared Loco to go in, so he does… and the same thing happened.
Then Loco and Matt dared Shaun to go in and he comes out crying like a bitch that he is.
They ask whats wrong. Shaun (crying) says”She told me to go buy a box of Cheerios”.
Hey, have any of you heard of the kidnapping in the woods?
Yeah, well, it all turns out OK, though, since he woke up...
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, "Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!" Blonde
Return the Dog "Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it more...
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him."
The woman replied, " That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she became the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That more...
Tiger woods go to china for a golf game with a local Chinaman, The night before the big even he decides to go out into town and get him self a young prostitute. After buying her few drinks and full course meal, they retire to his hotel for the big event. During the action the girl starts to get louder and even screams of words that Tiger couldn't understand or comprehend.
He thought to him self hmm that probably a sign of enjoyment and he continued even faster and harder. The girl got louder and there was a tone of moaning of slight roughness and she started screaming " Masatho Masotho, Masatho owww weeee owwww Mosotho." Tiger for sure that that meat ohhh it feel so good. This went on for the night.
The next day at the golf course, with the Chinaman he starts his game and decide to let the chinaman put first. After successfully birding the put Chinaman stands fast for Tiger to put Tiger with great confidence puts and birdies and looks at the Chinaman takes a loud more...
Like Tiger Woods, the GOP will have to apologize for all the partners it has been in bed with---like Exxon, Hallaburtiin, Fox News...