Woof Jokes / Recent Jokes

MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language.

A man walks into shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here."
"What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look."
And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck.
"Rover," says the man, "daven!".
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head.
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck.
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven.
"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get more...

A man walks into shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here."
"What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look."
And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck.
"Rover," says the man, "daven!".
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head.
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck.
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven.
"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get more...

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.
What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up.
What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait.
What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?" A centipede with a wooden leg.
What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog.
What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz.
What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.
What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile.
What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies.
What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping.
What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up.What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait.What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?"A centipede with a wooden leg.What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog.What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz.What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile.What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies.What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping.What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers. What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up. What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait. What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?" A centipede with a wooden leg. What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog. What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz. What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing. What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile. What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies. What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping. What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

one day a red head, a brunette, and a blonde all got fake idees to go into a bar, the bartender could tell they were underaged so he called the police, in bar storage there were 3 potatoes sacks, the brunette told them to climb in the potato sacks. when the police came and kicked the sack the red head was in she said woof woof and the police decided that was a dog, they kicked the potato sack with the bruunette in it and she said meow meow and the police decided that was a cat, then he kicked the potato sack were the blonde was and she said po-ta-t-oes