Worm Jokes / Recent Jokes

Twas the night before finals and all through the lab
Not a student was sleeping, not even McNabb.
Their projects were finished, completed with care
In hopes that the grades would be easy (and fair).
The students were wired with caffeine in their veins
While visions of quals nearly drove them insane.
With piles of books and a brand-new highlighter,
I had just settled down for another all-nighter --
When out from our gateways arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter
Away to the console I flew like a flash
And logged on as root to fend off a crash
The windows displayed on my brand new Sun-3
Gave oodles of info -- some in 3-D.
When, what to my burning red eyes should appear
But dozens of "nobody" jobs. Oh dear!
With a blitzkrieg invasion, so virulent and firm,
I knew in a moment. It was Morris's Worm!
More rapid than eagles his processes came
And they more...

Why was the glow worm unhappy? Because her children weren't that bright!

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one!

Waiter, there is a worm on my plate! Thats not a worm sir, its your sausage?

Little Johnny took his new chemistry set down to the basement where he stayed all afternoon mixing various liquids together. Eventually, his dad went down and found him surrounded by test tubes, pounding something into the wall. "Why are you hammering a nail into the wall?" asked his dad. "It's not a nail," said Johnny. "It's a worm! I tried to bring this worm back to life with my special chemical mixture, but my formula made the worm hard as a rock," he said as he showed his dad the liquid that he had soaked the worm in. "I'll tell you what. You give me the test tube with your special chemical mixture in it and I'll buy you a Toyota." So little Johnny handed the test tube over. The next day, when Johnny got home from school, he saw a brand new Mercedes-Benz parked in the driveway. He asked his dad about the car. "Oh," said the father, "your Toyota is in the garage. The Mercedes is from your mother."

Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side.
So... the one flies over and the other one swims through-which one gets to the worm first?
The one who swam, of course, because "Da oily boid gets da woim."