Worm Jokes / Recent Jokes

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. It's hard to be downhearted, When the sun shines out your bum!

One afternoon, two worms were crawling through the grass. The male worm said to female worm, “How about if you and I go back to your place? ”
The female worm said, “Okay. ” So, the two worms went back to her place and the male worm noticed that the female worm is wearing a wedding ring.
The male worm said, “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t do this sort of thing with married worms. ”
The female worm replied, “Don’t worry. My husband is not coming home. ”
The male worm asked, “How do you know that for sure? ”
The female worm answered, ” Well, he got up early this morning and went fishing. ”

Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon
realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he
happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a
worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him
of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no
lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer
down his throat and went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms
in his mouth...

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

What`s yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?
A maggot with attitude!

Why was the glow worm unhappy?
Because her children weren`t that bright!

What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?
Very big worm holes in your garden!

What reads and lives in an apple?
A bookworm!

What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It`s been nice gnawing you!

What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!

What did the maggot say to another?
What`s a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?
They can lighten your load!

What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python?
A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death! What is the best advice to give to worm?
Sleep late!

What`s the difference between a more...