Worried Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dear Santa,
We're worried about you. From your rosy red cheeks to your legendary girth to your all-night sleigh ride around the world, you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, mishaps and lawsuits that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts.
The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society in Barrington, Illinois. Dermatologist Dr. Jerome Litt says you have "a clear-cut case of rosacea," a skin condition that also affects millions of Americans, particularly at middle age. Unable to examine you personally, the good doctor based his finding on a well-circulated report that your "cheeks were like roses, (your) nose like a cherry."
Sadly, many observers conclude that red-skin condition comes from hitting the Christmas-punch bowl a little too hard. Sadder still, rosacea can be aggravated by holiday stress, hot chocolate and overexertion... all things you may encounter this time of year.
The one bright note in Dr. Litt's message is that more...
Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!
Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?" A few minutes later, Timmy returned. "Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?" "She's fine, except that she's angry at you." "At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?" "She said' It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.
"I'm worried," said the woman to her sex therapist. "I happened to find my daughter and the little boy next door both naked and examining each other's bodies." "That's not unusual," smiled the therapist. "I wouldn't worry about it." "But I am worried, doctor," insisted the woman, "and so is my daughter's husband!"
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face."Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again!""What dream?" asked the psychiatrist."You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"
The worried bachelor consulted a psychiatrist about his nymphomaniac girlfriend. "Doctor," he exclaimed in a shaky voice, "she'll stop at nothing to satisfy her bizarre sexual desires and unholy cravings-"
"I've heard enough, interrupted the psychiatrist. "Does she have a friend?"
A man goes to the doctor and says that he is worried because one of his testicles has turned blue. the doctor examins this and decides the only way to help would be to have the testicle amputated. The man decides to go through with the operation. The next week the man comes back and says his other testicle has turned blue, and once again the doctor recomends that the testicle should be removed. The following week the man comes back again and says his penis has turned blue also. After alot of arguing the man decides that the doctor is right and he should have his penis amputated. The week after the man has had a plastic tube inserted in place of his penis he comes back and says "
Doc, now I'm really worried. My tube has turned blue"
The doctor examins this and says to the man "
I'm sorry sir but I think the problem is the blue dye in your jeans."