Worries Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn`t want.
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn`t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won`t change, and she does.
5. There are two times when a man doesn`t understand a woman- before and after marriage.
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There`s no use in two people more...

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument. more...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him A little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and Not try to understand her at more...

Santa's Girlfriend: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Santa: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Santa's Girlfriend: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary? ”
She said, “Somewhere I have never been! ”
I told her, “How about the kitchen? ”


“We always hold hands; because when I let go, She shops. ”
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with.
BUT, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money and doesn’t appear to realize that you had set it free, you either married it, or gave birth to it.
A Successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling. But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married more...

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. 9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 10. There are two more...

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!