Worry Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are these two guys driving a car. When the guy driving blows right through the red light.
"Man, you just ran that red light!", the passenger said.
"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.
Well, they continue to drive when the guy went flying through another stop light.
"You ran ANOTHER stop light. You are going to get us killed!!!" exclaimed the passenger.
"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, the driver said.
After a while they came to a green light when the guy stopped.
"Why are you stopping?"
The driver turned around and said, "Because my brother might be coming!"

Well, it's getting to be summer camp time, here in the good ol' USA, and one of the legendary requirements is the eternal "letter home." Here's an example provided me by a dear friend, trinette.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and were worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it wasn't for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Walt got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blowup? The wet wood didn't more...

To: Windows R & D
From: Bill Gates
Re: Lack of progress in extending Windows interface to noncomputer environments
I am quite concerned about your recent report detailing what you call problems in extending the Windows interface to products other than computers. The growth of Microsoft is dependent on our ability to extend Windows to every aspect of business, home, and society. After all, we all own MS stock, and if you want to become a billionaire, too, you will, I'm sure, learn to minimize the effects of what others call reality and laws of physics. Here's some feedback on the first wave of Windows-ready products.
WINDOWS TOASTER:
This is one of the few products on which we have any agreement. You agree that tapping on a minimize arrow will lower the bread into the toaster and that tapping a maximize arrow will make the slices pop out again. But you complain that you can't figure out any way that double-clicking on the box will reduce the size of the toaster more...

Fifteen Minutes Into The Flight From Delhi To Kolkata, The Captain Announced, “Ladies And Gentlemen, One Of Our Engines Has Failed. There Is Nothing To Worry About. Our Flight Will Take An Hour Longer Than Scheduled, But We Still Have Three Engines Left. ”Thirty Minutes Later The Captain Announced, “One More Engine Has Failed And The Flight Will Take An Additional Two Hours. But Don’t Worry. We Can Fly Just Fine On Two Engines. ”An Hour Later The Captain Announced, “One More Engine Has Failed And Our Arrival Will Be Delayed Another Three Hours. But Don’t Worry. We Still Have One Engine Left. ”A Young Sardar Passenger Turned To The Man In The Next Seat And Remarked, “If We Lose One More Engine, We’ll Be Up Here All Day! ”

I'm somewhat of a hypercondriac, a lot of people say that I'm a "Worry Wart," but I'm convinced it's a tumor.

100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Guy
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Monday Night Football.
You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.
All your orgasms are real.
A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
You understand why Stripes is funny.
You can go to the bathroom without a support more...

Q: How would a blonde punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!