Wrinkles Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa."Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl."Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa."Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
Hot wax never comes near your private areas.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Wrinkles add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted more...

It's great to be a bloke because:
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice more...

1. We know stuff about tanks

2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase 3. We can open all our own jars 4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group 5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name 6. We can leave a motel bed unmade 7. We can kill our own food 8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness 9. Wedding plans take care of themselves 10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices 13. Everything on our faces stays the original color 14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough 15. We don't have to clean the house/apartment if the meter reader is coming.16. Car mechanics tell us the truth17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours withou thinking "He must be mad at me."18. Same work - more pay19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character 20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a more...

Mum arrived at the function looking absolutely the best she had for years.

"You look great," said her husband. "You should always leave your bras at home."

"How did you know?" she asked.

"Because you've lost all the wrinkles from your face," he said.