Write Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple in their nineties is having problems remembering things, so they decide to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen," he replies.

She asks, " Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

The husband says, "Sure"

She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He says, "No, I can remember that!"

She then says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down' cause I know you'll forget it."

He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She adds, "I'd also like whipped more...

A man who had been in a mental institution for some years finally improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The psychiatrist that ran the institution decided it was better to proceed with caution, and chose to interview him first."Tell me," said the doctor, "if we release you, as we are considering, what do you plan to do with your life?"The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life, and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you see, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped to put me here. If I am released, I shall limit myself to work in pure theory, where I believe the situation will be less difficult and stressful.""Wonderful," said the psychiatrist."Or else," continued the patient, "I might teach. There is something to be said for dedicating your life to expanding the knowledge of young more...

The teacher of the fourth grade class was giving an English lesson:"All right class, I want everyone to write a sentence which starts with a question and ends with an answer and has the words possible and definite in it!"All at once, young Johnny's hand shot up." Miss! Miss!" called Johnny." Write it down, Johnny!" said the teacher.". .. But Miss! Miss! Miss!" Johnny intoned." I said write it down!" exclaimed the teacher who was now quite peeved." Miss! Miss!" called Johnny once more." Okay, Johnny. I give up. What is it?" "Is it possible that farts have lumps in them?" "No!" said the startled teacher." Then I have definitely shit myself!"

A woman was sitting at the breakfast table reading a letter, when she suddenly looked up suspiciously at her husband.
"My mother says that she won't be coming to visit us this year," she said. "She says that she doesn't feel we really want her to come. What do you suppose she means by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"
"Ummm, yes, I did," replied the husband. "But, er, I was having trouble spelling 'convenience', so I made it 'risk'."

How to Determine if Technology has Taken Over Your Life
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
2. You can no longer sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low Baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend more...

Teacher:-I Told You To Write An Essay On The Dog. Why Didn't You Write It? Shreya:- Ma'am When I Was About To Place My Paper On The Dog It Ran Away.

Silvia: Dad, Can You Write In The Dark? Father: I Think So. What Do You Want Me To Write? Silvia: Your Name On This Report Card.

Lucky Charms^
What Is Harry Potter's Favourite Cereal?
Ans. Lucky Charms.