Writing Jokes / Recent Jokes
A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
His answer to the question: "What chair?"
After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn`t know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that`s what they are. I`ve never heard of circle flies."The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle flies are common on farms. They`re called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse."The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says," Hey, are you trying to call me a horse`s behind?""Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that.""That`s a good more...
A mom writing her Aggie son:
Dear son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where
we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen
within twenty miles of the home so we moved. Our new place has a washing
machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, I pulled the chain and haven't
seen them since. It only rained twice this week. Three days the first time and
four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you your aunt Sue
said it would be a little heavy to send in the mail with them big heavy buttons
so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral
home; said IF WE DIDN'T MAKE THE LAST PAYMENT ON GRANDMA'S FUNERAL BILL UP SHE
COMES !!! Your uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him
out but he fought them off playfully and he drowned. We cremated him, he burned
for three days. Three of your friends went off more...
16 Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
( _ ) Champak
( _ ) Indrajal
( _ ) Star and Style
( _ ) The great Punjab Dairy
( _ ) Blank sheets
17 How often do you bathe:
( _ ) Weekly
( _ ) Monthly
( _ ) Yearly
( _ ) Not Applicable
18 Color of teeth:
( _ ) Yellow
( _ ) Brownish-Yellow
( _ ) Brown
( _ ) Black
( _ ) N/A
19 Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
( _ ) Manikchand
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JALANDHAR BOARD COLLEGE EXAM QUESTION PAPER...........
(this one's little difficult than last year's)
1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters ________________________
(only alphabets allowed, no numeric digits or "_" allowed)
2. Sex?
( ) Male
( ) Female
( ) Sardar
3. What's ur age group?
( ) less than 0
( ) equal to 0
( ) greater than 0
4. What is 2 + more...
I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said "Come on, buddy, how about giving me a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes; the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.