Wrong Jokes / Recent Jokes
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it. Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" The rest is history...
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam "What's wrong?" Adam said he didn't have a anyone to talk to.
So God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be woman. He said this person would cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you have a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed.
Adam asked God, "what would a woman like this cost?"
God said,"An arm and leg."
Adam said,"What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history.
A blonde got pulled over by a policeman for driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
"Ma'am, do you know where you're going?" asked the cop.
"No, officer, but wherever it is, it must be really bad because everyone else is leaving!" answered the blonde.
Three Italian mothers were attending a football game. Each had a son playing on the same team. At the start of the game, the first boy saw his opportunity, grabbed the ball and running quickly, out-foxed the opposing team, making the first touchdown. His mother, obviously proud of her son, sprang from the bleachers, shouting in her broken Italian accent, "Thatsa *my* boy! I raised him onna da Pet milk. Ain`t he-a Peach?" Soon, the second boy received the ball and in a spectacular run down the field, made another goal for the team. Not wanting to be outdone by the first boy`s mother, the second boy`s mother jumped from her seat, exclaiming, "Thatsa *my* boy!! I raised him onna da breast milk. Ain`t he-a wonderful?" The third boy, hadn`t done so well, but finely someone threw him the ball. He fumbled it, then recovered... running in the wrong direction, fell with the ball, ran some more, stumbled again, dropped it once more, recovered it and finally crossed the goal more...
Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the more...
three men went to heaven and asked the god for vechiles, god told them he would give them each a car, but it depends on their sin they commited. the first fellow name mike; he had affairs with married women so he was given a very old car, the next fellow is Tom; he did have affairs but he tried his best to behave, so he was given a ford mustang, the next fellow was Jimmy he never did any thing wrong, so he was given a red ferrari. one day all were driving the cars in heaven and met in an intersection. Jimmy looked sad, the other fellows asked him what was wrong, Jimmy replied that he just saw his wife walking