Yellow Jokes / Recent Jokes
Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one." Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective!" Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker to the right side of the machine and vice versa." Customer: (sputter) (click) Tech Support: (snicker)
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I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.
Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink more...
You know how they use to give immigrants a test when they came to America?
Well the last question on the test was to use pink, green and yellow in a sentence.
So when the Mexican had his turn he answered the last question: "When the phone goes 'GREEN GREEN GREEN' I PINK it up and say 'YELLOW?'"
One day there were 3 mexicans(they do speak good english)
crossing the boarder. The cops pull them over and asked for
their green card. The first mexican said," We dont have any
green cards but is there any way we can get out of it." The cops
said,"If u can give me a sentence using green, yellow, and pink
I'll let u guys go." So he asked the first 2 mexicans and they
were all confused. The third mexcans said with his mexican
accent, "Sure i do it' The fone went green, green I pink it up
and say yellow'"
In the afternoon this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to stop. Our guy rolls down the window. "How can I help you?"
"I am the red bastard of the asphalt, you got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away. Not even five minutes thereafter he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop. A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window. "What can I do for you?"
"I am the yellow bastard of the asphalt, you got something to drink?"
Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a can of coke and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go faster more...
Two farmers were discussing which one had the meanest, toughest dog. One, who had a very mean looking Doberman, insisted that his was the meanest and toughest and that it could lick any other dog in the country. The second just looked at his mangy, old, yellow dog and said that he would wager his against any dog in the country.
Well, after some animated discussion they finally decided to let the dogs fight it out. After a very brief snarling match, the old, yellow dog leapt on the Doberman and killed it outright.
The first farmer was aghast. His dog had been beating other dogs for years and had never had more than a small scratch or two. He turned to the other farmer and asked, "What kind of dog did you say yours is?"
The first farmer replied, "Well, before he lost his tail, we called him a Mountain Lion!"
Q: What is sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice...
A: Zorn's lemon...
What is yellow and white, and goes down railway lines at over 100 miles an hour?
The train drivers egg sandwich!