Yellow Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. "You've got two red lights right next to each other, dummy. You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..."
2. "Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."
3. "What the hell do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knot?"
4. "Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker."
5. "If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't
just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father."
6. "Give me that!"
7. "You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top."
8 "I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!"
9. "You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?"
10 "Have more...
a mexican is caught jumping the boarder so the guy says ill be easy on if you can make a sentence using these words you can go free green yellow pink so the mexican says green green green I pink up the phone and say yellow!!!
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party? He was going as a banana.
There was a man and a woman and they lived on a farm. They owned two horses, but they could never tell the difference between them!
One day, the man colored a yellow stripe on one of the horse's tail. Then winter came, and the yellow had washed out from all the rain. The man and woman were left to stand there next to eachother, staring at the horses.
After 2 minutes of staring, the woman finally said, "I've got it!!! The black horse is taller than the white horse!!!"
Stanley got a job painting the yellow stripes on the highway. His first day he dipped his brush into the bucket and managed to paint an entire mile of yellow lines. The second day he painted half a mile. The rthird day a quarter of a mile.
On the fourth day Stanley's boss showed up and asked, "How come each day you seem to paint less and less?"
"Well, sir," explained Stanley, "that's because each day I get farther and farther away from the bucket."
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.
Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly,
"Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this "yellow" construction paper?"