York Jokes / Recent Jokes
What should be the official name for Bill & Hillary Clinton's New York Estate", asked Jayne Carroll, who hosts a radio talk show in the Portland, Oregon metropolitan area.
On Friday, September 10th, Carroll asked her audience to suggest an official name for the Clinton $1.7 million house in New York. Carroll's call-in contest required the names to be in relative good taste, original, and should capture the essence of the occupants.
The response was overwhelming! Here's some of the more witty:
Perjurers' Palace
Hillbilly Villa
The House of Bill's Repute
Drawers Downs
Cheatem Estates
Castle of Contempt
Sin Simeon
The House That Terrybought
The Knee Pad
The White Trash House
The Blight House
The Panderosa.
Liars' Lair
Bill & Hill's Bribe & Breakfast
The Clinton Compost
Dogpatch on the Hudson
Rancho Immoral
Deceitful Domicile
Monica's Man's Manor
The Hen more...
Two New York City social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten," he pleaded.
The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague, "You know the person that did this really needs help."
A scientist was successful in cloning himself, and was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper." My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone jumped up and shouted, "he's a *&^^%*@)&!". Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My fellow scientists,". Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, "this dumb *%@(&+*! couldn't produce a copy on a Xerox. He's a fraudulent *$3%$#*#+=!". Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window. The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York's finest arrived and the events that had transpired were explained to them. The police chief said to the scientist, "We are going to have to arrest you." The scientist replied, "For what? You can't arrest me for killing a more...
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?Pupil: Because it can't sit down!
A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie.
"12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months."
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and more...
Baghdad, Iraq (CNN) -- Iraq unveiled a list of the country's most-wanted Sunday, including Saddam Hussein's wife and daughter.
New York, New York (CNN) -- In response to Iraq, Lenny Marcus unveiled a list of his most-wanted Sunday, including Keira Knightley, Kate Beckinsale, and just about any chick that the guy's slept with on "Entourage."
A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie."12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only more...