Younger Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was an older brother and a younger brother sleeping in the same room. The older brother was on the top bunk and the younger brother was on the bottom bunk.
so one night the older brother brings his girl-friend over and they start doin it. So the guy says "Every time you want me to go harder yell lettuce and tomato" so all night she was saying lettuce and tomato lettuce and tomato. finally the younger brother wakes up and says "Quit makin sandwiches up there your getting mayonaise all over my face"!

To All Employees:-
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, it is necessary for us to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel, via retirement, by the end of the current fiscal year is effective immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Any employee who is SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for employment outside the company. SLAPPED employees may request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). Employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED have the right to file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under more...

Dear Employee:
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following more...

(Sorry guys, you have to be a Ceylonese to enjoy this joke)
So, the King Dutugemunu decided to teach a lesson to King Elara becuase he behaved too badly.
When King Dutugemunu starts off to make war, he always accompany his 10 great fighters or
the so called' Dasa Maha Yodhayo'. Pussadeva is the one who always lead the battalion with the
famous conch shell in hand. It is said that when he blows that conch shell the sound of it can
be heard from a distance of 8 miles('Siv yodunak').
This particular day, Pussadeva could not find his conch shell (or' Haka' in Sinhalese) when summoned
by the King Dutugemunu. Unable to find a' Haka' fitting to a Yodaya, he had to borrow the next biggest
'haka' from the temple. This' haka' popularly known as' pansal haka' too is as big as' Pussadeva haka'.
The army is marching towards Vijithapura with Pussadeva leading with his' pansal haka' in hand. They
were marching on a' palama' (bridge) over the river more...

Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work."
"When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea."
"Then, when you wanted to "jazz" up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now we have a lot of new, younger choir members and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right!"
"But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've more...

The elder of two brothers hoeing in the fields went home first to prepare lunch. When the meal was ready, he loudly called his brother to come home. His brother shouted back, "I'll come back after hiding the hoes in the bushes beside the fields." During lunch, the elder said to the younger, "You know, where we hide our hoes is a secret. If you say it so loud like that someone will hear it and steal them." After lunch, the younger went to the field to continue his work. However, the hoes had been stolen. He rushed back and whispered to the elder, "The hoes have been stolen."