Zebra Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.
The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I'm a zebra. What are you?"
"I'm a cow," said the cow.
"Right, right, what do you do?"
"I make milk for the farmer."
"Cool."
The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I'm a zebra. What are you?"
"I'm a chicken," said the chicken.
"Oh, right, what do you do?"
"I make eggs for the farmer."
"Right, great, see you round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without more...

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?"
The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him."
So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said,' You are what you are.' "
The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said,' Yo is what yo is.' "

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal."See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."

A farmer went to the market to buy some new animals. He looked all day but couldn't find anything he didn't already have. Finally at the end of the day he spied a Zebra. Wow, he thought I must have that animal on my farm so off he went home with it. The Zebra didn't really know what was expected of her at the farm and tried asking the other animals. First she saw a pig and went over to chat "hey piggy, what do you do here?" "Wellll" said the pig "I just kinda wait around and eat and roll in the mud". Hmmmm, thought the Zebra, that doesn't sound very exciting. Next she noticed a cow in the field. "what do you do here moo cow?" The cow looked the zebra up and down and said "I just eat grass and chew my cud and look at the sky all day". Hmmmmm, that doesn't sound like much fun either thought the Zebra. Suddenly, wow! The Zebra saw a beautiful stallion and raced over to speak to him. "Hiya horsey! What do you do here?" gasped the more...

Animal Quiz
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She
holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone
knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "
See its long neck? What animal has a
long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks, "
Is it a
giraffe?"
"
Very good Sally,"
the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the
students holds up their hands. "
See the stripes on this
animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his
hand and says, "
It's a zebra."
"
Very good Billy,"
the
teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the
students recognized the animal. "
See the big antlers on
this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no
one guesses.
"
Let me give you another hint, it's something more...

A gorilla was walking thru’ a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, ‘Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, and the deer replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master. ’
The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared, ’Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, of course, the zebra replied, ‘You are, master. ’
The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. ‘Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, ‘Ok, ok, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer! ’

Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.