Zhou Jokes

The following jokes are from "No Laughing Matter" by Steven Lukes
of Oxford and Itzhak Gelnoor of Hebrew University of Jerusalem.
The selections are from the June 5, 1989 issue of Newsweek (review
by George F. Will).
Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs
meat today."
Deng Xiaoping tells Gorbachev that three demands must be met before
relations can improve. First, China wants 100 million tons of coal.
"Agreed," says Gorbachev. And 20 new ships. "Done," says Gorbachev.
And a million bicycles. "Impossible," says Gorbachev. "But why?"
asks Deng. "Because," says Gorbachev, "the Poles don't make bicycles."
Khrushchev says to Zhou Enlai, "The difference between the more...

BEIJING, CHINA--After two weeks of remarkable success against the world's finest athletes, the Chinese National Olympic Team was carefully disassembled and put back into storage yesterday, placed in a specially designed, high-tech cryogenic freezing pod for preservation until the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia. "You have brought great honor to your nation," said Chinese Prime Minister Deng Xiaoping during a ceremony before more than 800, 000 in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. "Now we must remove your sculpted limbs from your muscular torsos and return you to your sarcophagi so that you may achieve even greater glories for the People's Republic in the future." Amid great cheers from the crowd, Deng then pulled a switch, lowering the athletes into the $440 million, titanium-reinforced, liquid radon-cooled absolute zero temperature athlete preservation chamber, where they will be preserved in a perfect state of suspended animation until July 2000. The elite 120-member more...

Khrushchev says to Zhou Enlai, "The difference between the Soviet Union and China is that I rose to power from the peasant class, whereas you came from the privileged Mandarin class." Zhou replies, "True. But there is this similarity. Each of us is a traitor to his class."