"50 Ways to Appreciate Life" joke

1. Watch the sunset-- on a sled. 2. Smile more, --it might get you a free beer. 3. Complain less. --It might get you a free beer. 4. Surprise a friend with a call. -- It might get you a free beer. 5. Develop your gifts. -- You might need them. 6. Count your blessings. -- You might need these too! 7. Talk to someone in an elevator. -- Particularly ones with Arctic Cat jackets on, or those carrying beer. 8. Breathe consciously once in a while. -- This cures snoring. 9. Enjoy sneezes -- and stay behind the one sneezing. 10. Appreciate that your leg isn't broken, -- unless you are an actor. 11. Be unique, --it demonstrates difference! 12. Sing in the shower. -- With a friend! 13. Put your shoes on the wrong feet and laugh at yourself, -- or have someone laugh at you. 14. Make someone's day, -- or night. 15. Stand on your head. -- For a free beer! 16. Stare at the world above you. -- Hopefully not from under a bar. 17. Play with an animal. -- Be sure it is one which cannot eat you! 18. Slurp Jell-O. --Add Vodka for flavor. 19. Do something unplanned. -- Plan to do it this weekend! 20. Plan to do something and have it go as planned. -- This is hard! 21. Stand back and look in. -- Tell my wife this when shopping all the time. 22. Appreciate a paradox -- paradox a appreciate. 23. Dive in. -- Naked! 24. Get grass stains. -- Naked: )25. Wave your hands in the air. - - Use the middle finger at birds. 26. Swim with the fishes. -- Again, naked. 27. Make maple syrup. -- Don't use pine juice. 28. Climb a tree. --Don't climb a pine. 29. Spin in a circle once while walking to class. -- Don't fall in a mud puddle. 30. Tell someone they look nice. -- You look nice. 31. Collect something, -- like taxes from the tax collector! 32. Walk barefoot every chance you get. -- Even in the snow! 33. Build a sand castle, -- or a snowman. 34. Walk with no destination. -- Talk with no destination. 35. When all your exams are done, treat yourself to an ice cream cone. -- OK I WILL! Then a beer. 36. Entertain yourself by making faces. -- bend over and see if they look the same. 37. Don't just listen, try to hear. --Then try to listen to a friend. 38. Wear shoes until they're so old they won't stay on your feet. --Then wear them swimming. 39. Appreciate the primary colors. -- Know them! 40. When you wake up, realize you're alive. -- Promise not to use vulgarities. 41. Walk in the rain, -- with a bar of soap. 42. Blow bubbles, -- in the tub! 43. Make the most of where you are. -- Ride an Arctic Cat! 44. Jump as high as you can. -- Come down on an empty beer can, and recycle it. 45. Dance -- in bed46. Talk less and say more. --Carry a BIG stick. 47. Exercise before you diet. -- 12 oz. curls don't count do they? 48. Learn to play chess. -- That and Linear Algebra may come in handy. 49. Sit by a river. -- With a beer, on an Arctic Cat. 50. Never lose your sense of humor. -- You will need it!

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