"65 Fun Things to Do at Walmart" joke

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing football - see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and Candy."
8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares." and see what happens.
9. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
10. Play with the automatic doors.
11. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
12. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
13. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
14. Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
15. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
16. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
17. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, Magic!"
18. Put M&M's on layaway.
19. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
20. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
21. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
22. Nonchalantly "test." the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
23. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman! Come, Robin - to the Batcave!"
24. TP as much of the store as possible.
25. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
26. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. (0.1134)
27. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
28. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
29. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
30. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
31. Take bets on the battle described above.
32. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
33. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
34. While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
35. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
36. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
37. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
38. Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
39. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
40 Two words: "Marco Polo."
41. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
42. "Re-alphabetize" the CDs in Electronics.
43. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
44. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone..." and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
45. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. E.g. The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I