"A Senior Citizen" joke
I am a senior citizen...- I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm.- I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.- I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.- I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid...- I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.- I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.- I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.- I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.- I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.- I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.- I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians...- I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.- I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.- I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.- I'm having trouble remembering simple words like... uh...- I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.- I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.- I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.- I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.- I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?- I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.- I'm a walking storeroom of facts... I've just lost the key to the storeroom.- I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life... Aren't I?
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the more...
The woman cocked her ear. "Quick it's my husband coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom" she cried. The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed and as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door. "What are you more...