"A cultural comparison" joke
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool.Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer.Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer.Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer.Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
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