Channels Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Nov 28, 2005
    Moved in to my new Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the
    smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything's networked. The
    cable TV is connected to our phone, which is connected to my
    personal computer, which is connected to the power lines, all the
    appliances and the security system. Everything runs
    off a univeral remote with the friendliest interface I've ever
    used. Programming is a snap. I'm like, totally wired.
    Nov 30
    Hot Stuff! Programmed my VCR from the office, turned up the
    thermostat and switched on the lights with the car phone, remotely
    tweaked the oven a few degress for my pizza. Everthing nice & cozy
    when I arrived. Maybe I should get the universal remote surgically attached.
    Dec 3
    Yesterday, the kitchen CRASHED. Freak event. As I opened the
    refrigerator door, the light bulb blew. Immediately, everything
    else electrical shut down - lights, microwave, coffee maker -
    everything. more...

    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.

    Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.

    Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.


    Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.

    Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.

    Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.


    Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

    Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.

    Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.


    Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.

    Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the more...

    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.Brits: Pay a tax more...

    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
    Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when
    abroad.
    Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when
    abroad.
    Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else
    when abroad.
    Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
    Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
    to your club.
    Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of
    themselves.
    Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
    Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
    Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to
    the point of blindness.
    Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be
    bothered to sing them.
    Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
    the anthem.
    Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot more...

    · Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
    · Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
    · Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
    · Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
    · Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
    · Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
    · Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
    · Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
    · Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
    · Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
    · Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
    · Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.
    · Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one more...

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