"Absolutely no sex if you want to join our church" joke
On a nice, bright sunshiney day, three couples came to visit the local Priest in order to join the Catholic Church. By a strange coincidence, One couple was young, one was old and one was middle-aged.
The Priest told the couples that they could join the church only if they proved they were sincere by first abstaining from sex for one week. The couples all agreed to meet back at the church in one week.
One week later, as promised, the couples all came back and the Priest asked of the Old Couple,
"Did you abstain from sex?"
The old couple both shook their heads and the Priest said, "Fine! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
The Priest then asked the middle-aged couple, "Did you abstain from sex?". The Middle Aged woman smiled and said, "It was tough, but we made it."
"FINE! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
The priest then turned to the young couple and asked, "Did you abstain from sex?"
The young man of the couple answered, "Well, Father... we did really well for about three days, but on the fourth day, *she* bent over to pick up a head of cabbage off the floor and when she did, I noticed that she had no panties on under her dress. I just couldn't help myself! I had to give it to her hard!"
The Priest was shocked! "WELL, I suppose you realize that I can't let you in the church.", he droned.
The young man replied,"You think that's bad? We can't even go NEAR Kroger anymore!"
Your momma is so fat when you tell her she has something on her chin she asks which one
A lawyer, a doctor, a little boy and a priest were all out on a small plane for an afternoon flight when the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the pilot's best efforts, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot yelled out to his passengers that they'd better more...
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. more...
Newt Gingrich cautioned those who stand up for freedom of speech by saying we need to reexamine it. I agree. Can we shut this guy up?