"Aliens at gas station" joke

Graa and Zmba had just arrived in the Nevada desert from the planet Fraana when they happened upon a service station. Graa said to Zmba, "Watch out, this sucker is going to be one tough cookie!"
He walked up to pump number one and said, "Take me to your leader."
The pump just stood their and Graa got a little angry and repeated his command with emphasis, "Take me to your leader!" But the pump just stood motionless. Graa pulled out his ray gun and said, "This is your last chance. Take me to your leader." When the pump made no response, he fired a shot at it and the explosion hurled Graa and Zmba all the way back to their spacecraft.
"How did you know he would be so tough?" Zmba asked.
"Anyone with a dick so long they can stick it in their ear has got to be one tough cookie."

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...

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A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

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