"Arms Race Competition" joke
At the height of the arms race, the Americans and Russians realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the entire world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world. The side whose dog won would be entitled to dominate the world and the losing side would be required to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter and removed his siblings which gave him all the milk. They used steriods and trainers and after the five year period came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage required steel bars that were five inches thick and no one could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a very strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans since they felt there was no way possible that this dog could last even ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled over toward the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of its cage, charging the American Dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left of the Russian dog.
The Russians approached the Americans, shaking their heads in total disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have possibly happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing," replied an American. "We had our best plastic surgeons working five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
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