"Aviation Rules And Reminders" joke

* Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.
* If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. Unless you keep pulling the stick back... then they get bigger again.
* Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
* The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
* The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
* Every one already knows the definition of a' good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a' great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.
* The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
* A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down -- all of them trying to become random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly -- they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.
* Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
* There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
* The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-pilot is a co-pilot who once was a captain.
* It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.
* A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
* Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
* Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fire hydrant what it thinks about dogs.