"Bachelor's DietMONDAY" joke

Bachelor's DietMONDAY: BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox. AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maaloxDINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------TUESDAY: BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslawLUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------WEDNESDAY: BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's LUNCH - Rolaids and a cokeDINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps --------------------------------------------------------------------------------THURSDAY: BREAKFAST - Order out for pizzaLUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers. DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------FRIDAY: BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you. LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------SATURDAY: BREAKFAST - Sleep through it. LUNCH - DittoDINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------SUNDAY: BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie. LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch. DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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