"Baked Beans" joke
There once was a man who had a terrible love for baked beans. The problem was that everytime he ate them he got horrible gas.He met a wonderful woman and they fell in love. After dating for some time he asked her to marry him. She said yes but only under one condition, if he would stop eating beans. She couldn't stand the affect they made on him. Well, him loving her so much agreed.
A few years later on the man's birthday he was driving home from work early because his wife wanted to make a nice dinner for him. On his way home though the car broke down. So he called his wife from a pay phone and said he was going to be late. Well, on his way home he passed by a restaurant that was letting out the wonderful aroma of baked beans. He decided that if he had some he would be able to walk of the ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ended up ordering 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. So on his way home he was pooting and tooting the whole way there. By the time he got home he felt great and was pretty sure all the gas was gone. He walked into his house to be greeted by his wife who had a blind fold. She said she was going to blind fold him and bring him into the dining room, she had a surprise for him. After getting settled in the dining room the phone rang. His wife ran to get it. As his wife was on the phone he felt some urges coming on and decided he better let them go now while his wife was gone. So he lifted his leg up and RIIPPP. Yikes! And then he felt another one coming on, RIP! Well this one was even worse than the last, it was so bad it was hard for him to breathe after it. Then a third one came on...he could tell this was gonna be a big one! RIIPP! The windows shook, he was gagging for air, the flowers on the table died. Soon after that he heard the end of the phone conversation and his wife walked back into the room. After making him promise he had not peeked she took of his blind fold. To his shock and horr
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