"Bathroom control" joke
One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.
He says "Hey Paco, you shit your pants?"
Paco says "No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants."
He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Pablo stops his horse and turns around.
He then says "Paco, Are you sure you did not shit your pants?"
Paco says "Yes Pablo, I am sure I did not shit my pants."
He says "Ok."
They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Pablo is swatting the flys away. Pablo stops his horse and gets of his horse.
He then says "Paco, get of your horse. Paco, pull down your pants.
Paco, I thought you said you did not shit your pants?"
Paco replies "I thought you meant today!"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...