"Best T-shirts Of The Summer" joke

This was in the "Bob Levey's Washington" column in the Washington Post. Every year he compiles and prints the "Best T-shirts of the Summer"
(around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going
At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All... I Just Can't Remember It All
My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do
(Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah
If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
Senior Citizen Give Me My Damn Discount
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")
(on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
(Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor
Veni, Vedi, Visa - I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About
I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
(on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge
Coffee, Chocolate, Men... Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major... Will Think For Money
Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
IRS - Be Audit You Can Be
Gravity... It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
Wanted Meaningful Overnight Relationship
The Old Pro... Often Wrong... Never In Doubt
If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.
(Thanks to Mary Campbell)