"Body parts turning blue (adultish)" joke

A man visits his doctor. "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my testicles has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
"Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he came back.
"Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other testicle has turned blue too."
Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant.
"Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to agree to the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc gives him the bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course he did not want to hear about it.
"You really want to die?", asked the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation, the unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue."
"What?"
"Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"
So, the doctor examined the patient, VERY carefully this time, and says, "Hmmmm, I think it might be the jeans..."

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could more...

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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