"By the Lantern Light" joke
The crofter's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a lusty baby boy was brought into the world.
"Och!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern by...I think there's yet another wee bairn to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass.
"Na, dinna be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
The crofter scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: "Well, now, mon. Do ye suppose the light's attracting them?"
Not enough votes...