"Capitalist Hell vs Communist Hell" joke
A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was
told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to
Communist Hell.
Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to
Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking bored.
"What's it like in there?" asked Dave. "Well," he replied, "In
Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a
rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small
pieces with sharp knives."
"That's terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I'm going to check out Communist
Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line
of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven
times before receding off into the horizon. Dave pushed his way through
to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people
in. Dave asked Karl what Communist Hell was like.
"In Communist Hell," said Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, boil
you in oil, chain you to a rock and let vultures tear out your liver,
and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"But... but that's the same as Capitalist Hell!" protested Dave.
"True," sighed Marx, "but sometimes we don't have oil, sometimes we
don't have knives..."
Henry Cate III
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!