"Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding...." joke

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

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your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

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Jim had a date with a really, hot blonde and in preparation for it, he went on the rooftop of his apartment building to get a tan. Not wanting to have any tan lines, he decided to sunbathe in the nude. Unfortunately, Jim fell asleep. When he finally woke up, he was sunburned more...

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A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

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