"Church Membership Drive" joke
A very popular local church was having a membership drive and three couples were being interviewed by the pastor. The pastor explained to them that in order to be accepted as members of the church, they would have to show their commitment to God by abstaining from sex for three weeks. He directed them to return in three weeks to meet with him, let him know whether or not they had honored this commitment, and he would make a decision on accepting them as members.
Three weeks later, the pastor was talking with the three couples and asked the first couple, an elderly couple, how they did. The husband explained that they had abstained from sex for the three weeks, and the pastor welcomed them as new members of the congregation.
The second couple, a middle-aged couple, explained that they had their urges but were able to abstain from sex for the three weeks. Again, the pastor welcomed the couple as new members of the congregation.
Finally, the third couple, a newlywed couple, explained that they were much more tempted than the previous two couples. The husband said, "The first week was tough but tolerable; the second week was extremely difficult; and the third week was so bad we had to avoid one another. It all came to a head when, one day, my wife dropped an orange on the floor. When she bent over to pick it up, I couldn't control myself and nailed her right there on the spot."
The pastor said, "I'm sorry, but you will not be allowed in this church."
The newlywed husband then said, "That doesn't surprise me, we're no longer allowed in Safeway either!"
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