"Church rules..." joke
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor said,' We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.'
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked,' Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?' The old man replied,' No problem at all, Pastor.'
'Congratulations! Welcome to the church!' said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?' The man replied,' The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it.'
'Congratulations! Welcome to the church!' said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?'
'No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,' the young man replied sadly.
'What Happened?' inquired the pastor.
'My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.'
'You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,' stated the pastor.
'We know.' said the young man,' We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.'
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Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
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A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...