"Church rules..." joke
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor said,' We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.'
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked,' Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?' The old man replied,' No problem at all, Pastor.'
'Congratulations! Welcome to the church!' said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?' The man replied,' The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it.'
'Congratulations! Welcome to the church!' said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?'
'No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,' the young man replied sadly.
'What Happened?' inquired the pastor.
'My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.'
'You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,' stated the pastor.
'We know.' said the young man,' We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.'
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!