"Comfortable" joke
A Tongan man hired a Samoan man to work at his cattle farm in Tonga. He needed a bull, so he sent the Samoan man to Samoa to buy a bull. Before he left the Tongan man gave the Samoan man $600 to buy the best bull that he can find. He bought a bull that cost him $599 which includes the shipping and handling costs to send it to Tonga. He went to wire a telegram to his boss in Tonga and realized he only had one dollar left. He asked the clerk how much to send a telegram. The clerk said that it costs a dollar per word. He told the clerk to write down "Comfortable". Get it?! "Come for the bull."
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...