"Computer Viruses" joke

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 1. 3 GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80mb and then slowly expands back to 1. 3 GB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back…
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into a binary network.
TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints “oh no you don’t” whenever you choose “Abort”.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.
EMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating “Read my docs…No new files! ” on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, and then blames it on the Congressional virus.
DENVER BRONCOS VIRUS: Makes your P133 machine perform like a 286/AT
L. A. P. D. VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in “self-defense”.