"Computer password" joke
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,
and at the appropriate point in the process, told him
that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured
he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his
wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his
password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that
he was keying in
"penis"
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer
replied:
PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...
My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...