"Constipated Polak" joke
A Polak was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositiories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.
"Have you been taking them regulary?" the doctor asked.
"What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!