"Debate Drinking Game" joke

Thanks to Victor for this joke, laughed so hard I fell over...
Since I couldn? t find a good drinking game for the upcoming Presidential debates online, I decided to write one myself.

There are three parts to this game. The first section applies to either candidate, and the next two are specific to John Kerry or George W. Bush.

Part A? Either Candidate
Have a small drink or a gulp of beer if either candidate says?..
a. Iran
b. Iraq
c. North Korea
d. Afghanistan
e. Sudan
f. Libya
g. Axis of Evil
h. Gay Marriage
i. United Nations
j. Tax Cuts

Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if either candidate says??
a. Saddam Hussein
b. Osama Bin Ladden
c. Al Qaeda
d. September 11th or 9/11 or World Trade Center
e. WMD / Weapons of Mass Destruction
f. Homeland Security
g. Nuclear Proliferation
h. If either candidate doesn? t answer the question given to them

i. If either candidate goes over the time limit per question (flashing red light)

Part B? George W. Bush
Have a small drink or a gulp of beer If George W. Bush says?..
a. Uhhh?..
b. If George Bush stutters
c. Florida
d. Mentions anything about the Alliance in Iraq
e. Tony Blair
f. Dick Cheney
g. Terrorist or Terrorism

Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if George W. Bush??
a. Miss-pronounces? nuclear?
b. Mentions a John Kerry? Flip Flop?
c. Mentions anything else about John Kerry? s voting record
d. Says? War on Terra?
e. Says? Evil-Doers?
f. Says anything connecting Saddam Hussein to the September 11th attacks
g. Commits a? Bushism?? meaning he says something that doesn? t make any sense

Chug a bottle of Bacardi 151 if George W. Bush
a. Chokes on a pretzel

Part C? John Kerry

Have a small drink or a gulp of beer If John Kerry says?..
a. [Any Number] Billion Dollars
b. Mentions anything about his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry
c. Four More Years
d. Anything about the economy
e. No Child Left Behind
f. Last Resort
g. Mentions anything about how many troops have been killed in Iraq
h. John Edwards

Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if John Kerry??
a. Mentions? Mission Accomplished?

b. Mentions anything about Vietnam
c. Mentions anything about Purple Hearts
d. Mentions anything about George W. Bush? s service in the National Guard
e. Mentions anything about Bush administration? misjudgments?
f. Mentions anything about unemployment or loss of jobs under the Bush administration