"Demon Babies" joke
One day there was a woman who was about to have babies. She went to a fortune teller and the fortune teller said she would have twins - and they would be demons. The news somehow got on TV, so there were FBI agents and cops in the hospital room where the woman was going to give birth. They had guns ready to shoot the babies when they came out. One of the babies stuck his head out and saw what was going on. So he stuck his head back in and told his brother. After hearing what was going to happen the second brother said, "Let's go out the back way."
An ant and an elephant story "One day there was an ant and an elephant walking down a street.
The ant fell into a manhole so he looked up at the elephant and said "hey help me out", so the elephant lowered his dick and let the ant crawl out of the hole.
As they continued on with thier walk the elephant fell into a hole, he called out "hey ant help me out of this hole". The ant said okay, I'll be back. The ant returned with a Corvette and a rope and used these to pull the elephant out.
The moral of the story is...
As long as you have a big dick, you don't need a Corvette.
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