"Dictionary of Performance Evaluation Comments" joke
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.Active socially: Drinks heavily.Alert to company developments: An office gossip.Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the neck.Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.Happy: Paid too much.Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.Internationally known: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work.Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes.Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.Not a desk person: Did not go to college.Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life.Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
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